so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
