I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
