she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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