Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
