erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
