Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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