Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize