just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
