That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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