that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
