Kiss
Puke
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
