I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
did i just pee glitter
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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