yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Randomize
