he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
