Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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