I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
our cab driver is having phone sex.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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