its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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