If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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