Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize
