He is such a slut. More and more my type.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
