i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
