I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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