A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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