so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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