we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
