I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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