hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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