Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
