She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
