Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
