there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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