Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
