Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
