I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
