My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
