I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
