Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
he thought i was a dude.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
