I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
