i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
