please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
