I am in a vortex of obligation.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
