Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
