Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
