Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
