May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
