I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He better not be in your backpack
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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