How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
