Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
