Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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