I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
