Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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